Surviving Suicide: Finding Life Again After Loved One's Death - WSPA.com

Surviving Suicide: Finding Life Again After Loved One's Death

Posted: Updated:
It is hard to imagine a pain worse than the death of a child. For Becky Kay it's a grief she's felt twice, but in very different ways. It is hard to imagine a pain worse than the death of a child. For Becky Kay it's a grief she's felt twice, but in very different ways.
GREENVILLE, S.C. - Robin Williams' death rippled through social media; but for many, the talk turned from Williams' movies to depression and suicide.

It is hard to imagine a pain worse than the death of a child. For Becky Kay it's a grief she's felt twice, but in very different ways.

“My child Mike was killed in a car wreck in on November 1st, 1997, and I thought I had tasted the bitterest cup you could ever be given to drink,” said Kay.

Eight months passed. Her eldest son, Bobby, suffered from depression, some addiction and the loss of a relationship. Kay knew he had his demons, but seemed to improve that following July.

“He stood in the backyard on that Thursday night and said "I'm going to be ok" and I think he knew in his own mind what he was going to do. We talked for probably 2 and a half hours. He never said the word, "suicide.” On Saturday, two days later, I got that call,” she said.

Bobby had taken his life. Kay was left broken.

“The grief wascomingledd. With Mike's death I could put pieces together like a puzzle and with Bobby's, there was this gaping hole,” said Kay.

The months that followed, years even, Kay said she never was the same. Her light was gone. Her joy was missing.

“I like to say that I checked out of the world at that time,” she explained.

Fortunately, she says, the world did not check out on her. She found help in the form of a counselor, medication and a group called “Survivors of Suicide”; a support group designed for those whose loved ones chose to complete their life.

“I can recall the day that I laughed for the first time,” she recalled.

It wasn't easy. Even then, the road was long and she had to learn a new normal....a new her.

“You have to be able to accept who you become,” she said.

Today, she's the leader of the upstate chapter of “Survivors of Suicide” and a board member of the Mental Health Association of Greenville County. She helps others who are going through similar tragedies learn to cope.

“I often tell them to treat themselves like they are intensive care because you are mortally wounded.

There's not a day that goes by that she doesn't think of her two sons, Mike and Bobby. Perhaps it would be easier to be angry, to curse her God and to focus on the death, but that, she says, takes away from the joy that was his life.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide you're urged to call the Mental Health Association of Greenville County Crisis Line. 


CRISIS LINE: 864-271-8888

TEEN CRISIS LINE: 864-467-TEEN

  • Most Popular StoriesMost Popular StoriesMore>>

  • August Mugshots

    August Mugshots

    Thursday, September 11 2014 3:41 PM EDT2014-09-11 19:41:44 GMT
    August arrests in Upstate South Carolina and western North Carolina.
    August arrests in Upstate South Carolina and western North Carolina.
  • Letter found with body of App State student, police say

    Letter found with body of App State student, police say

    Monday, September 15 2014 5:16 PM EDT2014-09-15 21:16:12 GMT
    The body of Anna Smith was discovered in a heavily wooded area in Boone.The body of Anna Smith was discovered in a heavily wooded area in Boone.
    The Boone Police Department said a letter was discovered with the body of an Appalachian State University student, indicating her death may have been a suicide.
    The Boone Police Department said a letter was discovered with the body of an Appalachian State University student, indicating her death may have been a suicide.
  • Mom says bullying led to son's suicide at Seminole Co. school

    Mom says bullying led to son's suicide at Seminole Co. school

    Monday, September 15 2014 4:24 PM EDT2014-09-15 20:24:28 GMT
    The mother of a 14-year-old Seminole County boy believes he took his life because of the tormenting he endured by bullies.
    The mother of a 14-year-old Seminole County boy believes he took his life because of the tormenting he endured by bullies.
Addie Hampton
Addie is a general assignment reporter covering Greenville, Pickens and Laurens Counties.
  • Most Viewed Stories on WSPA.com

Powered by WorldNow

250 International Dr.
Spartanburg, S.C. 29303

Telephone: 864.576.7777
Fax: 864.587.5430
Email: webmaster@wspa.com

Can't find something?
Powered by WorldNow
All content © Copyright 2000 - 2014 Media General Communications Holdings, LLC. A Media General Company.