‘Bot’ writes bizarre script based on 1,000 hours of Hallmark Christmas movies

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COLUMBUS (WCMH) — A comedy writer shared a hilarious Hallmark Christmas movie script written by a “bot.”

Keaton Patti shared the first page of the script on Twitter after he “forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Hallmark Christmas movies and then asked it to write a Hallmark Christmas movie of its own.”

Hallmark Christmas movies are a staple in many households this time of year.

Stereotypically speaking, each movie centers a woman who falls in love with a man around Christmas time and learns the true meaning of the holiday. Or the man does. Or maybe both in a Christmas miracle. 

Either way, Hallmark Christmas movies are guilty pleasures for lots of people.

That’s why Patti had the “bot” watch the movies for it to create its own script. (For those who are wondering, a bot is software that performs simple and repetitive tasks that would be time-consuming, mundane or impossible for a human to perform, according to Techopedia.com.)

Patti’s “bot” decided to set its movie in a small-town snow globe refillery(?) and features a widowed mother refilling snow globes with Christmas juice (the “bot’s” words, not ours).

Soon a rich “Hallmark hot” businessman (who hates Christmas and trees after an unfortunate explosion when he was a kid) meets the woman and tells her he has bought her land and is turning it into an oil resort. 

He has also somehow managed to buy Christmas itself and threatens to get rid of it unless the single mother goes on dates with him. 

In a twist ending, the mother’s late husband is Santa (she didn’t know!), who is now only bones in the corner of the room. 

The script is obviously nonsensical and not actually written by a bot, but people on Twitter still love it.

The comedy writer’s “bot scripts” are a running gag on his Twitter page. He’s written similar scripts for an Olive Garden commercial, a police show and House Hunters.

Copyright 2019 Nexstar Broadcasting, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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